So, what am I feeling now, after 3 months into this journey? Well, I have to say that there are ups and downs to everything. I think adapting to the pace here took some getting used to. Slowing down our lives to Tico time has not been easy. LIke taking 6 weeks to open up our bank account - with every document you can imagine and then some. LIke slowing down to let the dog wake up and move out of the way, so you can drive by, or the horse or cow or even the drunk for that matter. Like waiting in line at the bank or at the grocery store and it taking as long as an hour to get served.
PATIENCE- is a virtue and you really need a lot of it to survive Costa Rica 101. It is not snapping your fingers and having it done yesterday- as we are used to in Toronto. Asking a question and having it answered, properly, the first time- here you ask a question and you get 20 different answers. Here you ask for directions, and there are no road names or addresses with numbers on houses- only land marks - like go down and when you pass the ice factory, you make a right at the storage sign and the house is on the hill to the right, with the red roof and iron gate. ( Incidently that is our address)
Time- it passes slowly , it passes quickly- but it is still 60 minutes, 60 seconds. We can say we have had plenty of it to digest the past, enjoy the present moment and contemplate the future. I 've always felt there is never enough time to do what we want. I can finally say that I have found peace with time here- our pace is so much slower- not having as much to do helps- but still somehow always managing to do something.
This is one of our biggest challenges upon our return - to maintain a normal balance of time- to make the time needed for self, for our family, for our sanity. I think about this a lot and we are already finding strategies that will help us keep this balance. Not having to rush is already a huge gift- not having to do 1 million things in a day - not having a wedding , funeral and baptism, also all in one day.
I will definitely miss this I know - like when we are running out to hockey games or soccer practices or music lessons, or when stuck in traffic on the 401 or 400 for what seems to be eternity, or when the snow and bitter cold just won't stop and the sun hasn't come out in weeks.
There have been days when I feel homesick, when I miss my busy life, when I get up in the morning and wish I had somewhere to go, something important to do, or someone to meet. Feeling connected to friends, family, a job, community is critical to anyone's well-being and this has become clearly evident living here. Although new friends have been made, and some plans or appointments booked, it is still not the same. Perhaps more time is needed. Perhaps the sense of giving back, helping out, belonging.
The honeymoon is over now and the reality of life sets in. Living the day to day chores of cooking, laundry, washing dishes ( actually the sink can never be empty here - it is a constant chore ). It has taken me this long to fantasize about our home, our backyard, our street , even the things in the shed like our bikes or the motorcycle. It surprises me how long it has taken to miss these things but I do now. Even my job, my colleagues and my students- I really miss them all. And of course, my dear close friends - I miss our dinners, our bbq's, our ski trips, our boat trips - I miss you all very much!!!!
I guess this makes you realize that when you are blessed with a terrific life, home, family and friends and even job- we sometimes take these things for granted. Sometimes we need a long break from our daily routine, a huge step out, if you will, to look at the bigger picture - to get a glimpse of our lives from afar, almost as if an alien was looking in.
We all need to recharge and re-energize our lives. I am so thankful that we were fortunate to have this incredible life adventure here in CR. A journey that has taken my family to a new level, to a new closeness and a new awareness - an awareness of absolute love and compassion, of pushing our patience to the limits at times and learning to accept our shortcomings and forgive with ease. We have indeed accomplished this - we have grown closer still, we have survived my daughter's injury, we have learned to enjoy days and days together (24/7), we have learned of the passing of a dear dear friend and had to deal with it from here without support of the family, without the closure of attending the funeral, we have settled into our quiet evenings, of ending the day with a swim or a walk and then after dinner, always a movie ( and each one of us fighting over the only couch-like chair in this small house- but eventually everyone finding somewhere to curl up).
I am indeed very grateful that we stole this moment, this journey, this TIME together as a family. To learn the virtue of patience - with a new country, with each other and with ourselves. I am grateful for each new day and the promise it brings to start a new adventure- after all, it all began with a thought, a word, and then the courage to make it happen.
